THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A WOMAN SAY
This joke was posted 03/20/01
-Could our relationship be more physical?
I'm tired of just being friends.
-Go ahead and leave the seat up.
-I think hairy butts are really sexy.
-Hey, get a whiff of that one.
-Please don't throw that old t-shirt away,
the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
-This diamond is way too big.
-I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
-Wow, it really is 14 inches!
-Does this make my butt look too small?
-I'm wrong, you must be right again.
-I think belching is really sexy.
-Sure, I'd love for us to have three-way sex with my best friend.
-Why don't you go out with your friends
to see the strippers tonight?
-I could never be with any other man, but
I don't mind at all if you see other women.
-I insist that you always put your mother before me
-I love a good cigar after sex
-I think we should spend our life savings
and buy a big, old bass boat.
-Move over, I'm driving. I love city traffic.
-The smell of oil and gas makes me horny.
Let's do it on the workbench.
-That porn star Dixie Dynamite sounds like one heads-up chick.
I wish I could meet her one day.
-It's so romantic when you pull out and cum on my back.
-Let's skip that stage show with Mel Gibson
and go watch the Tyson fight at a bar.
-That shirt doesn't smell bad enough to need washing.
Wear it again today.
-Your buddies tell the best stories.
I could listen to them all day.
-I understand.
-You don't swear enough.
-I love it when you finger me while you drive.
-Let's stay at that dirty, old motel on the highway.
It's cheaper and we can spend the money we save on beer.
-Don't fix the toilet, I'll just keep going in the bushes outside.
-Sure, you can wear your old work boots at our wedding.
They go with anything.
-I think I'll call him up and ask him out.
-Sleeping with all the guys on the softball team
doesn't make that girl a slut! She's just really friendly.
-I farted again. Lift the covers so we can smell it.
-Don't dirty a knife or fork, eat with your hands like me.
-Oh yeah,... *any* hole you want!!!