'Twas a quiet night,
         And all through the house,
         No one was home,
      NOT EVEN THE MOUSE  
      
       I was real horny,
         With no one here who would care,
         So I dialed AOL,
         To see if My friends were there.
       
         I looked at my buddy list,
         To see who was online,
         While visions of cyber-sex,
         Danced through my mind.
      
         When all of a sudden,
         Who on my list should appear,
         Just the best little cyber-babe,
         I'd ever had here.
      
         I im'd her with "hey darlin,"
         Kisses, hugs, and hello,
         When I suggested a private room,
         She said 'lets go."
      
         I made up a name,
         We both clicked, and were in,
         Anticipating the fun, that
         Was about to begin.
      
         We kissed and hugged,
         Then our clothes we did shuck,
         It was just then,
         I ran out of luck.
      
         Naked and hot,
         To the imaginary bed we scooted,
         When the next thing I knew,
         I had been booted.
      
         I ranted and raved,
         And cursed AOL,
         For taking my money and,
         Putting me through hell.
      
         I signed on again,
         And impatiently waited,
         Hoping and praying,
         Her lust hadn't abated.
      
         I was finally online and,
         To the room I did dash,
         To my little cyber-girl,
         And heaven at last.
      
         We got past the foreplay,
         Were cyber-fuckin' and then,
         To my utter frustration,
         I was booted again.
      
         I cursed AOL,
         As I got back online,
         For what I swore would be,
         The very last time.
      
         We got down to business,
         And as the end neared,
         It happened again,
         That thing that I feared.
      
         Now the first was bad timing,
         The second rough,
         But the third time booted,
         I'd had enough.
      
         A letter I wrote,
         Addressed to Steve Case,
         Telling him what I would do,
         If we ever came face to face.
        
         I wrote in great detail,
         Just how he would pay,
         For my getting booted,
         Three times getting laid.
      
         You may think this is funny,
         An ass-slappin hoot,
         But the next time you cyber,
         WATCH OUT FOR THE BOOT