The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.
 
Accordingly, as of January 1, 1999 your penis will be taxed according to its size.
 
To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information on page 2, section 7, line 3 of your standard Form 1040-P:
 
10 - 16 inches Luxury Tax $50.00
8 - 10 inches Pole Tax 30.00
5 - 8 inches Privilege Tax 15.00
4 - 5 inches Nuisance Tax 5.00
 
PLEASE NOTE : Anyone under four inches is eligible for a refund  PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Males exceeding 12 inches must file under capital gains.