The Sermon

One day, Mr. Jones spoke to the minister of his church. "Reverend," he said,  "I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very  embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," the minister said. "Take this hat pin with you. I'll be  able to tell when your wife is asleep and I'll motion to you to give her a good poke in the leg.

The following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off during the sermon. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan into action. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, and nodded to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the pin.

"That's right, Mrs. Jones!" said the minister.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. Again the minister noticed. "Who is your  redeemer?" he cried out to the congregation, again motioning to Mr. Jones.  "God!" Mrs. Jones yelled as she was again stuck with the pin.

"Right again!" said the minister, smiling.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister  didn't notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet his wife with the hat pin again.

At that point, the minister cried, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son???"

Mr. Jones poked his wife, who yelled, "You stick that damn thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen!" shouted the congregation.